I want it back

I regret to report that Cody was the victim of a snatch and run robbery this afternoon. While in the presumed security of our lounge, the brazen thief climbed strait in the window and stole something very dear to Codys heart. His Jam Sandwich.

It was at this point that we heard a scream like we’ve never heard from Cody before; we rushed into the lounge to see the intruder inches from our precious son. Nina (she’s the scary one), rushed at him yelling all sorts of things I can’t write here because my mom reads this. He looked up, and quick as a flash was out the window and up the nearest tree. He sat there and enjoyed his loot right in front of Cody. At this point I should probably tell you that the criminal was one of our resident pilfering primates. At this time of year (winter) the food situation for them is bleak, so every now and again they drop in for a little take-away.

None of this was any consolation to Cody, his Jam Sandwich was gone. This injustice needed an instant, direct response, so he sat down and sobbed. His deep, Barry White inspired, sobbing was only interrupted by, “H..H..He t.t.t.toook my san…san…sandwich.”, “Monkeys eat bananas not sandwiches.”, “I want my sandwich back.”, “It’s the end of the world.”, “Tell him to give it back.”, “It’s the end of time.” “Can you help me get the sandwich back?” At which point I had to tell him the sad truth that his much loved snack was gone for good. This revelation brought on a fresh and intensified bout of mourning that got progressively louder every time we told him that we could not get the sandwich back. At this point we decided deception was our only way out, so we told him we would go after the monkey and get his sandwich. So into the kitchen we went, made a new sandwich, and started our Oscar winning performance.

“Hey, monkey that’s Codys sandwich give it back.” “I said give it back now, or else.”“OK that’s it, I’m coming to get it”. “Take that monkey; you want a piece of me do you.”“Not so tough now, hey.” On and on my threats went till I was convinced Cody had bought my little ruse. With my soliloquy over, I went back upstairs to let Cody know that his heroic dad had rescued his sandwich. Unfortunately we had no continuity producer, so on handing the sandwich back to Cody, he took one look at it and said, “It’s not my sandwich, and mine had two bites out of it.” So back downstairs I went to let the monkey know he had given the wrong sandwich back and that I wanted the real one. After taking out the two bites necessary for authenticity, I returned to present Cody with his sandwich.He accepted it without question and all the wailing stopped instantly. He sat down and tucked into the sandwich. Not giving the monkey another chance to nick his lunch, he stuffed the whole thing into his mouth. Sitting there, cheeks stuffed, resembling Marlon Brando from the Godfather he looked at us and said, “Can you make a sandwich for the monkey, he must be very hungry. You took his lunch.”